Beginning Again

It's the summer for me and my finals years of school are here. August 28th is when I returned to high school as a senior, class of 2014. Its actually quite daunting to be fair. I really never felt like I was a leader. Being a middle child, I really just had my brother to play that roll. I know, it really may not seem like that big of deal to many but for me it's something I really still don't understand.

The idea of growing up I always felt like it was a transformation child to adult, very straight forward, never did I feel there would be this confusion of the middle years.  You are trying to figure out who you are and feel like everything is definite and final once you are an adult. For example, right now I am looking at career paths and college choices. It feels like I have to make the right choice or known what I want to do exactly and prepare myself for adulthood. To be honest I'm not ready.

Actually, it could be just I really just clearly formulate what I want and have a passion for but with so many deadlines coming up this school year I often feel rushed. As I was little, job that involved animals I thought would be so fun with all the fun you could play, when I was in middle school, I just wanted a job with a lot of money. I remember doing one of those personality tests things on the computer in school would change my answers to get those types of jobs like surgeons and doctors I really had known idea what they did.

Looking back that was actually something that I really needed as much as I thought at the time it was useless, I now have learned a lot about myself growing up. The growth overtime has made me the person I am today and would not change a thing. Just the finalization right now I now see this is real.

So basically I just wanted to tell you guys that you are not alone in being uncertain and confused. Right now I totally can relate because I feel like everything is moving incredibly fast and I just want a break.

It's okay if you do know what you want to do from the word go. If you have a drive and a passion that is really inspiring. Even if you figure out it's not what you want to do it's okay we are all here with you.

People very often change there mind. It's really that simple. Over a life time, a person has 15-20 jobs. I know I am bad trying to talk to you guys about this but everything will be fine in the end. If this whole writing bit I'm sharing to you is confusing, I'm there with you, I have no idea what I just wrote....

I basically want to tell myself it's going to be okay even if I don't know, If plans are meant to happen, they will.

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