Everyone Thinks They're Funny

 I need to figure out my shit and like seriously figure out my shit. Like I need a better job, I need to be more passionate about things and I need to change things up. I feel burnt out and all that. I need a cube job and I know I'll hate it but I just need stability I think right now. 

Like I have tried the nonconventional job for like 3+ years and it really hasn't panned out super well and I have tried so much random jobs that I didn't know if I would like, then I immediately don't like it. I'm a pro at customer service though when I want to be. Like I work at the casino and when working with high rollers and stuff for events I can laugh and entertain everyones random thoughts and everyones generic responses...that either means I'm like the funniest person ever or I just know how to be a basic conversationalist. Either way I pat myself on the back...Sometimes I think I could be a comedian or be a singer or just basically more successful working around entertainment and stuff, then I realize I have subpar talent. Today I went to Comix at Mohegan Sun and saw Mike Feeney and Brendan Sagalow. I'm literally writing their names in case they get big and I can say I saw then before they got big. 

But yeah I am okay at karaoke and can be funny every once in a while, but sometimes I get a random spurts of confidence where I think I am better than I am. I wish I could work in a creative environment for like a job, that's kind of a dream. Like to work at like an SNL or like a comedy show or something. 

I think the most that I've done is like be an entertainment person for random shows which is just a fancy not fancy job for be a production assistant from load-in to break down. Which mainly means I am grocery shopping and doing laundry for 10+ hours. I'm not even lying slightly but I miss it and loved it. Like As much as I am a zombie by the end of the day, I wish I could do it still and work my way up in entertainment, even on the production side. 

Like I believe concerts aren't going to happen really until spring of next year and that's awesome for safety for everyone and things but it bums me out. I want to move to new york and try to do comedy maybe...maybe...Although I completely suck at public speaking even though I am a communications major (which I get is the most basic college degree ever) and I feel I would have stories to tell and stuff...who knows...I guarantee in like 10 years time, I'll be working in a cubical and living a basic life with the 2.5 kids living a basic middle class lifestyle. I hope not though, I kind of want more in life than just another person.